Generation gap, as we all know, is an inevitable fact in today’s times and is existing now more than ever. It is not that it did not exist before, but in negligible amounts. As society is more evolving and changing faster than before, this gap is seen to be expanding. This is something alarming and need to be looked out. As mild as it may seem from the outside, the problem is actually intense. This can be attributed to the passive and inner frustration that happens when there is a difference in opinion of both the generations. It can actually be called as a clash to be not extreme, but more real and precise. However, I feel each generation experiences its own sense of pricks in the heart that leads to bottled up emotions which is not good at all as emotional outbursts follow when too many emotions are being pushed on the plate.
YOUTH SIDE OF THE STORY
It is true that technological advances or modernization has made life easy for many in terms of reducing human labor or bringing the world closer etc. etc. However, it is undeniable that there is another stark side as well to it. Although it has made the world closer in breaking the geographical barriers, it has widened the gap between human’s heart or connections. It has increased so much competition and stress. Life is lived on the fast lane and everyone is pushing themselves to get ahead of others. Promiscuity is seen as more of a means of popularity, far from something immoral. There is more use of slangs than ever before. Drinking and smoking is done more casually now-a-days. There are new behavior patterns coming up. And with these new behavior patterns, there is a difference in the style of youth, be it dressing, communication, eating habits. Besides, the young is more comfortable in advocating modern values and don’t identify themselves with traditional or old-fashioned values that elders normally are accustomed to etc etc. Blame it on the media or technology, globalization or is it just an evolutionary phase. Admittedly, some things cannot be in our control like we can’t just go and stop the technological progress that’s happening. However, we can curb the individual outlooks towards technology or advancement. For example, young people are quicker to adapt the technologies and faster in identifying themselves with it. They really love technology and show no inhibitions in demonstrating it. On the other hand, the older generation is a bit slow in adapting technology and conservative in showing keenness to learn or adore it, let alone love it. I have seen many instances where they are judgmental towards anything new and are unwilling to at least show a sense of appreciation for it. In fact, they would just try to neglect it by shoving it away, Now, if you really have love for your children, then, you must also appreciate their real likings if not embrace it. There’s nothing wrong if you give them an expression of “Ohh, that looks cool, where did you get it from”. I believe small things like this make a big difference and it would put a big effervescent smile on your child’s face. It can be clearly noted that there is a sense of ego outweighing the natural aversion towards accepting technological advances. Anyways, the solution for it is that the older generation should understand the way younger generation has been born and bought up which is drastically different from the older generation’s growth. Isn’t there an old adage “You are what your surroundings are”! Therefore, the older generation should accept the younger generation as it is in these matters and not try to hold on to rigid or stiff beliefs. Yes, be assertive but don’t be authoritative! Also, if you are actually concerned about the negative effects of technology, be more proactive and talk to your children but don’t bombard or preach clichéd sayings. Younger ones are smarter than you think to catch you! Good communication remains central as ever to bridge the gap of understanding between the two generations. Besides, some things are subjective or contextual in nature and once the youth finds a certain kind of foothold in their lives, you can just give them advice but not push them into believing something which they are not ready to.
Moreover, it is the tardiness of the older generation in actions and decision making that annoys the youngsters. Mostly, I have observed some parents showing lack of enthusiasm in social activities and prefer being alone and withdrawn, unlike the gregarious nature of today’s youngsters. Flamboyance is apparently anathema to them which causes conflict with the resplendent youth. They give more importance to family life but what if their own family is expecting something out of love and that expectation is totally ignored by the person. This mundane behavior will obviously vex the family members. And then, it is the pretense and compromises which take over true love. Here too, proper communication is the need of the hour. The young have to be honest to themselves and voice out their feelings to their elders by letting them know the impact of insipid mannerisms. Still, after communication, if the elder doesn’t consider your feelings, then, I firmly believe that the elder is at fault. If the elder at least appreciates the feelings but unwittingly unable to change himself, then, the young has to understand and compromise to a certain extent. The thing is after a certain age, change becomes difficult too and there should be some mutual understanding.
Now, there are so many instances where the youth is expected to behave in a certain way by the elders. This is not the way it should be as each one has the right to exhibit his own individuality. As long as the youth abides by the law and scruples or conscience, morals are subjective or contextual and there is nothing good or bad. Many a times, we have to behave according to the situations or circumstances. So, cultural intolerance towards the youth is a sign of extremism and the older generation has to respect if not adopt the modern, secular values of the younger generation. Additionally, I have many friends who think out of the box and have a longing to pursue their careers a creative field. But, they are not supported by the parents as they conform to some accepted or established set of guidelines. These guidelines are further dictated to the children and they are more interested in keeping the tradition alive rather than acknowledging the true interest of their child. In this case, I believe, the child has every right to go against their parent’s wishes if he is pretty sure that the path is going to give him happiness. This happiness factor is more important than success and will do real justice in being true to oneself. Also, most parents tend to focus on academic or professional growth and not personal or spiritual growth. The parents need to be like a friend to their child and a pillar of support. They need to instill love and not fear. If one really wants to be happy, he has to be developed holistically and should possess a strong emotional quotient as well. This is a factor largely ignored by parents.
On the youth’s side, one needs to respect and understand the elder’s point of view as they are experienced, When I say respect, it does not being submissive. If your instinct says something is meaningful in your elder’s point of view, without any hesitation, you need to accept it and follow rather than dislodging your parents and putting your friends at a vantage point. Never let your own ego come in the way.
Satish Maduri, Mumbai
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